The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Elephant remembers kindness?
02:25 Apr 25 2010
Times Read: 623

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College.





On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.





The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.





Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.





Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.





Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant... Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.



Joe walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.





Probably wasn't the same elephant.





This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.

True meaning of COURAGE
00:41 Apr 15 2010
Times Read: 670


COURAGE?



What is the meaning of courage?





Is it standing up to a bully you know is going to kick your ass?





Is it to fly a fighter jet in combat?





Is it to practice free falling parachuting?





Is it to insult your boss?





Is it asking a someone to dance you know will say ..'NO'...?





Is it getting on a football field weighing 150 lb's and everyone else weighs 300?





Is it stopping a bullet meant for the president?





Is it recovering from a nasty divorce..?





Is it losing your first 'crush'..?





Bullshit.........those are nothing compared with...!





THIS IS COURAGE!

Muscular contractions
09:42 Apr 12 2010
Times Read: 688

A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.



Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked,



'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'



She replied, 'Probably out golfing with his buddies.'



It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........

Understanding women
23:57 Apr 10 2010
Times Read: 702








"And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the formula for understanding women."